On this Father’s Day morning as I sit here drinking my coffee I think back to my drinking days as a young Father.
I definitely wasn’t the best Dad in those days. I had other priorities still that seemed to take my focus.
One of the things that kept me about as sober as I could be was hiking. I have always enjoyed going on hikes. It’s a pretty good exercise to beat up the body.
My thought was I drink heavy enough that I’m beating my body up in that way so the beating from a good mountain hike just evened me out.
When my son got a little older he learned that if he could get me out the door for a hike I’d stop my drinking and he’d get “me” to spend time with. I definitely credit him with beginning to set me in the right direction towards sobriety.
When I had finally quit drinking altogether our “relationship repair” time focused around hiking. It gave us time to talk as well as just walk silently amongst nature together.
We created a yearly Fathers day hike in the FlatIrons area in Boulder.
If you ever want to know what sobriety feels like I’ll take you for a little hike there.
We would hike, sit in the back of my pickup and have a little picnic and then drive home. Without fail he’d fall asleep on that drive home and be surprised when we got home without him knowing it.
I miss those days. We had fun pushing ourselves physically, me mentally during my alcoholic battles, and eventually getting to know each other as Father/Son and eventually just 2 guys sharing time enjoyed together.
We don’t get to do those hikes as often anymore. Life has a way of changing faster than we think it will and hoping for it to slow down never seems to work.
What does work is being sober and present in the moment. Enjoying every moment that you do have together creating the memories. Listening and paying attention to your loved ones through not just hiking together but sometimes just in the silence of walking together and being there supporting the other.
I have long loved the story of “Footprints in the Sand”. Even during my drinking days I knew that during my worst of times I was being carried through until I could learn to walk on my own. It took me 23 years to learn how. I didn’t do it on the beach, I did it through the mountains with my son.
Now I hike with my wife as well but will always remember how my son helped me begin to see the path I couldn’t find.
Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads out there learning to walk the correct paths in life and to all of those that have set the example for their families on how to live life.
